


i don't think this is goodbye

by wvlfqveen



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Scott-Centric, this is just scott rambling about his life, yes allison is still dead im SORRY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 08:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13829997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wvlfqveen/pseuds/wvlfqveen
Summary: Scott thinks it's time for closure.





	i don't think this is goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> im a TERRIBLE human being. uni work and stress has gotten the best of me and i've been so uninspired.
> 
> also i will not be writing more of my demigod au. i havent watched teen wolf since season 5 and right now i have no intention of doing so. so i guess this is as much as a goodbye from scott as it is from me?
> 
> it's been 50 years but im still pissed they basically killed her off and then pretended TEENAGERS werent ACTIVELY MOURNING so. i wrote this
> 
> it's bad and basically just scott rambling so. forgive me
> 
> thank you all for reading my stories! i hope you stick around to read non-teen wolf ones! xx

>   _ **The moon lives in the lining of your skin. –** _Pablo Neruda_ _  

“It’s a full moon tonight.”

It is. It's one of those beautiful nights with not a cloud in the sky, the moon bright and stark against the backdrop of black.  Stars shine here and there, but Scott’s eyes are not cast upwards.

Instead, they linger over Allison’s name on her gravestone.

He swallows. He hasn’t been in the cemetery since the funeral, too consumed by grief and then the shitstorm that came with Kate and took a long time to leave.

“I’m sorry, it’s been so long.” There is no one here, the eerie silence of the place pressing down on his shoulders, but he can hardly make his voice louder than a whisper. He looks away from her name forever carved in stone, focusing instead on a stray thread in his jans. He picks at it.

“You probably know what happened already.  Looking down with that slightly disapproving but fond look on your face, like “Oh, Scott. You dumb, adorable puppy. I can fix this.” He smiles, and he is glad he is doing this alone because it feels decidedly watery. “Yeah. In a way, you did.”

She did, didn’t she? She is the only reason he had survived the whole Beast mess.

“God, I miss you.” The lump in his throat is growing steadily, shoulders shaking. Even now, here, alone with the dead, he tries to hold on, hold it in, but his grief is winning. “There is a hole in my chest, and I don’t know if it’ll ever close.”

He breathes in through his mouth. He hates the scent here.

“I don’t know how your father does it. Even after everything this life, this place has taken from him, he’s still helping us, still fighting for Beacon Hills.”

“But I guess I know how he does it.” He blinks into the dark, not really seeing. “The thought of going away for college is almost enough to make me go into an asthma attack again. We’re working on it though. Shielding the Nemeton, I mean. I’m sick of fearing for my family every single day.”

He exhales, looks away again. It’s almost summer, and the trees in the cemetery show it. He watches the leaves sway in the breeze. He knows it’s cool, but he doesn’t really feel it.

“Haven’t seen Kira in a while,” he continues, changing the subject. “I- we were a thing. Before she left. I miss her. I love her but I know it’s best she and her family get out.”

He pauses. His eyes go back to the gravestone.

“I told my Betas about you, you know.” He smiles, snorts. “Yeah, I have Betas now, can you believe it? I never saw it coming.”

His smile falls. “I guess I didn’t see anything coming.”

He goes silent again, simply breathing in. His grief is still here, weighing him down, but somehow he thinks it’s easier to carry now.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you all this,” he confesses. “I just...I think we never got the closure we needed before...before you died.” He closes his eyes for a moment. Opens them. “I love you, Allison Argent. You were my first love.” He smiles, even as his eyes well up with tears. He’s echoing her last words. “And I’ll never forget you. But we both deserve closure. I need to heal to move forward.”

He gets up, unfolding from his position on the grass. “I’m the Alpha of Beacon Hills. I have a pack to lead, a town to protect and a degree and career approaching. I’ll do it with you in my heart, but…” He touches the gravestone softly. “No more pain. I think I’ve had enough pain to last me a while.”

“I’ll be back, obviously.” He smiles. His eyes are dry now. “You know you can’t get rid of me that easily. How many times did we break up?” He even manages a laugh and he looks up then, up at the moon and where he knows Allison is, watching him with her beautiful smile on her beautiful face. “I’ll bring the pack, next time. Lydia and Stiles definitely, but the rest, too. I want them to know you.”

He smiles up at the sky. “Heaven is more beautiful with you in it, Allison Argent. I’ll love you forever.”

He leaves the cemetery, leaving behind him flowers held together by a silver thread. And for the first time in a while, the night of the full moon smells like hope.


End file.
